Many “dating guru’s” will tell you that the most essential part of seducing a woman are the things you say. It is your voice and your body language AdultFrinendFinder.com login, they say. It is created by forming a physical connection to the girl and AdultFrinendFinder fanning that spark of passion to a flame.Active listening for attracting women
All of these are true and adultfrinendfinder.org login all good AdultFrienedFinder classic seduction techniques, but the idea that adultfrinendfinder.org login those are “all there is to it” is complete bullshit.
For sure, things like a physical connection to the AdultFriendrFinder girl and keeping things going in the “right” direction is essential. Body language is also extremely important, no doubt AdultFrienedFinder login about it. But some of the most important seduction tips are not what you say; they are not what you do; they are not even AdultFriendrFinder.com login in the unconscious signals your body language gives off.
Active Listening to Women All of those factors AdultFrinendFinder.com reviews are important, no doubt about it, but listening… specifically active listening to women, may trump all these other techniques
Why should you care about listening? Active or otherwise? And what possible importance could it have on seducing or attracting women. There are actually many reasons why simply listening to women is important.
Well part of it is obvious, many women like talking. If you let AdultFrinendFinder.com them go on and really listen they are far more likely to feel a ‘connection to you.
Another big part is mystery. When you know everything about her and she knows little about you that puts a guy in a position of power. You are mysterious. This makes it more likely she will be interested in you.
The main reason though is connection. Years ago there was a communication experiment. The control group in this experiment was given a lot of information about the person they were talking to. The experimental group used active listening during the conversation. They said very little about themselves and simply asked questions and tried to keep the test subjects talking about themselves.
The curious thing was that the ones who said absolutely nothing about themselves and simply used active listening were rated to be far more interesting in the experiment. Often people find someone interesting not because of their perceived actions but because of what we DO NOT know about them and how well they interact and listen to us.
Active listening vs. Passive listening
I know what you are thinking now. “I listen to girls all the time, it has never helped to attract them before…“ Well that may be true. But you were probably “listening” not “active listening“.
That can be a big problem in our society. Attention spans are short. When someone is talking your mind wanders. Perhaps you think about some other girl you knew, perhaps about the ballgame you are missing.
Maybe you are a better listener than that and you try to really have a dialogue. Even there, people rarely communicate. Dialogues are often competing monologues. A conversation is often about politely waiting your opinion to say something clever that is on your mind.
What is active listening to women?
If you have even been to or seen a psychologist on TV or the movies chances are you have seen some active listen. Most Psychologists use it. the listening. teh pauses the positive affirmations. They are all designed for really listening and getting people to really talk.
With active listening and a little guidance it is easy for a guy to find out what a girl really wants. Discover her passions and get her talking about them . This will form a strong connection and bond with you. Begin to add in many of the other seduction techniques a guy can use like: casual touching, positive body language, confident demeanor and a little mystery and she will begin to form a deep bond of attraction.
Tips for effective active listening with women. Pay attention here. These are the ‘money’ tips. They are all great for active listening in general and can be specifically potent when used trying to attract a girl you desire.
Be polite. It probably shouldn’t need to be said but speaking politely and with respect towards the girl means something
Use her name frequently. When you speak to her try to include uses of her name. “Yes, I see that Amy, what do you think about…” using someone you do not know wells given name also works to quickly develop a relationship, and of course it helps to ingrain it in your memory so you do not “forget” it later.
Use listening to promote touching. Increased physical contact DOES help to guide a woman to intimacy. If she says something sad or funny these are a chance to initiate some gentle and “innocent” touching.
Eye contact: Like confidence, eye contact and listening are essential. You should maintain it as much as possible without, “staring”.
Focus on what she is saying. Do not think about what she is going to say. Do not think about what you can say next. Do not try to think of a clever line or a funny story of your own. Just try to really, “listen” to what she has to say.
Keep an open mind. Do not assume anything. Do not try to fix her problems. Let her talk to you. If and when questions arise, do not hold them back though. Ask her the questions to keep her going and let her know that you are really listening.
Give her responses. Do not let her just “go on” while you stare at her. Active listening to women means just that: ACTIVELY listening to her. It doesn’t mean you are mute. Simple “Uh huh” and “Go on..” will be OK for some of it. Use them to show you are really listening. But try to do more than just that. Engage her. Ask those questions like, “What did she say” and “What did she do” at the appropriate times to engage her.
Use of pauses. Active listening does take you speaking to her, some. It is not “purely” listening. Using pauses the right way can be very effective. think of a “classically trained actor. They say something and give a long pause before continuing into the IMPORTANT part of what they are about to say. This lets the listener know, even is only unconscious, that something really important is coming. Try to use the pauses in your interactions with her anytime you are leading up to something important.
Never put yourself into a conversation. One of the major active listening mistakes is sympathetic sharing. She says something you ca relate to and you say, “that reminds me of the time I….” and tell your own story. For future dates; that is great. That type of sharing lets her know you. But for active listening it breaks the mystery, mystique and ruins the whole effect. if she asks you directly if you have done or had a similar experience, feel free to share, but this is about listening to her… not telling your story.
Listen and engage. In a 1/2 hour conversation you may only be speaking for 3-4 minutes. But those minutes count. mark my words. Even though you say little she will be very attracted to what a “wonderful guy” and “great conversationalist” you are. Even though in reality you said little.
The power of active listening to women. As you can hopefully see, a little simple, “listening” means a lot more than not speaking and letting her talk. that is just the tip of the iceberg. If you can use some of the skills of active listening, along with increasing intimacy by casual touching and flirting, mix in confidence and a little humor, teasing and fun and you will have a girl soon wrapped around your your finger.
Active listening is only an ingredient in the mix of seduction tips for men, but it is a very important part of that mix.